Jay’s Story – Garing Yu Family

Lola’s Life History

Part I

I had the pleasure of interviewing a lively, 85 year old woman named Lola (an alias to protect the interviewee’s privacy). Lola is a petite Filipino lady who is vivacious and loves to laugh. She was born in the Philippines in 1927. Lola had an older brother whom she greatly admired and two younger brothers. As a young girl, Lola was admitted to an elite school named Leyte Normal. In this era, only the well-to-do or families of high status were able to attend this school. Lola and her siblings were admitted because her father was a retired teacher. From the beginning, Lola had access to the best education and was always in the top 5% of her class. Lola looked up to her older brother who was very bright, and she always tried to compete with him academically. In 1942, when Lola was a teenager, the Japanese invaded the Philippines during WWII. During this time, Lola’s mother passed away from a high fever and two of her brothers were killed during the war. While the war ensued, schools were shut down.

After the war ended in August of 1945, Lola returned to finish high school. Upon graduating, Lola earned a respectable wage working as a maid for a U.S. Army intelligence officer. At 18, Lola met a young man and became pregnant with her first child. That relationship ended, but a few years later, she met her future husband, Domingo. Lola and Domingo were married in 1949. He was 19 and she was 22.

When Lola was 28, she worked as a typist in an administrative office. By this time she had 3 more children and her husband had a lucrative business that supported the family. Influenced by her co-workers, she decided to go to college and ultimately pursued medical school. Nine years and two more children later, Lola received her medical degree. She worked as a general practice physician for a year, before she decided that she wanted to practice in the United States, where the majority of her colleagues went. At this time, she did 3 years of residency in the United States. During these years, Lola was away from her husband and six children which was very difficult. After residency, Lola applied for her immigrant visa so that she could work in the U.S. and bring her family along.

In 1972 upon receiving her visa, Lola obtained a job in Cleveland. At this point, she was only able to bring her husband and her second oldest daughter. The rest of her children came to the states shortly afterwards. This was quite a transition for the whole family, but a better life than back home. Over the years, the family moved several times to follow better job opportunities for Lola. They moved to West Virginia for two years, New York City for a year of pediatric residency, back to Cleveland and finally ended up in Saginaw, Michigan in 1977. Here, she obtained a job at the Veterans Affairs (V.A.) Hospital. In 1978, Lola’s husband, Domingo, was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins lymphoma, which is a cancer of the lymph-nodes. After fighting for a year, he passed away. This was obviously a very difficult time for the family. Although Lola was saddened, (as a physician) her reaction was that she would rather him suffer for a shorter period of time, than for many years.

During her mid-life, Lola’s children became adults and pursued their own futures. Her family grew larger as her children married and had children of their own. During this time, Lola continued working and furthering her career. Her job kept her occupied for many decades, leaving her little time for a social life and leisure activities. In 2006, Lola finally retired. Now, she has a more leisurely lifestyle which allows her to do things she didn’t have time for in the past.

Part II

Several circumstances helped to shape Lola’s life. Growing up in the Philippines during her era was difficult enough. Everyone was just trying to get by. Luxuries, such as a decent home (that had adequate space to accommodate all the children,) and motorized forms of transportation (such as cars or motorcycles) were scarce. The children didn’t even have toys to play with. Their activities consisted of going to the forest together and talking. To add to this, Lola’s teenage years were during WWII. In 1942, the Japanese occupied Manila. They allowed the Filipinos to collect as much of the cotton bales as they could, so Lola’s mother went to collect some for the family. Shortly upon her return, she fell ill with a high fever. This was a time where health care was not affordable or easily accessible. Lola’s mother later died from dehydration caused by her fever; a condition that Lola, in hindsight, says could’ve easily been prevented if they had the proper medical guidance. Lola was only thirteen at this time. This event was devastating for her because she had a close relationship with her mom.

In February of 1945 Lola’s younger brother was shot by the Japanese. He was only 10 years of age. Lola said he had a large frame for his age and that the Japanese may have mistaken him for a threat. Later that year, Lola’s older brother was hit by shrapnel and also killed, while he and his dad watched the battle through a window of their house. He was in his second year of law school. These two events were especially painful for Lola. She had lost three members of her family in a span of three years.

During the war, school was discontinued. Lola was forced to stop high school half way through her first year. She always excelled academically, so she was eager to return to school to complete her education. In 1945, the war finally ended and the Filipinos were ready to pick up the pieces of their lives and start anew. The war is an example of a normative history-graded influence, which is when everyone in a culture is exposed to an event on a large scale (Cavanaugh/Blanchard-Fields, 2011). Lola mentions that her friends were all in their third year. So when it came time to resume school, she took a test that would determine what grade she would re-enter. Wanting to be with her peers, Lola passed the placement test with flying colors and requested to continue school in her third year. At this point, she was 17. Just as school was important to her, so was a better quality of life. She wanted what most teenagers wanted, money! So Lola, eager to have her own money, applied for a job with the transportation department of the U.S. Army, based in the Philippines. After the war had ended, the American jobs were a hot commodity and many Filipinos, eager to improve their lives, wanted a piece of the proverbial American pie. The minimum age requirement to obtain a job was 18, so Lola did what any 17 year old would do, and marked that she was 18 on her application. She got the job and went to night-school to continue her third year of high-school. Lola graduated the following year.

Because of these difficult life-circumstances, Lola was determined to have a better life. She knew the value of education and hard work. She appreciated the finer things in life because they seemed so unattainable for the majority. Her difficult childhood contributed to her determination and strong work ethic. Lola had a strong belief in personal control, and she believed that her actions have a direct effect on the outcome of her life (Cavanaugh-Blanchard-Fields, 2011).

Another circumstance that shaped Lola’s life is the fact that birth control was not widely available in her time. She became pregnant with her first daughter when she was 18 years old. Lola and her newborn had to move back in with her father and step-mother for a while. A few years later, she met Domingo and he struck her fancy. He told Lola that he would take care of her and raise her daughter as his own. She was touched by this gesture and they married in 1949. After they wed, Lola had a child every year for three consecutive years (1951, 1952, and 1953). There was a break for three years, and the baby-making resumed in 1957 and 1958, with her youngest son. By this time, she was in her third year of pre-med and she invested some time in researching birth control methods. It was after this research that she was finally able to control the amount of children she would have.

Religion also had a role in Lola having had 6 children. Lola was raised in a Catholic household. As a young girl, her mother brought her and her brothers to church every Sunday. In the Catholic religion, having an abortion is not an option, so Lola accepted all her pregnancies as gifts from God. Of course having this many children at such an early age had a profound impact on Lola’s life. It forced her to mature much faster and to pursue a better life, not just for herself, but for her children as well.

There were also specific relationships that shaped Lola’s attitudes and beliefs. She was the second oldest and the only girl of four children. Lola felt as though her father favored the boys over her. She remembers that her father especially favored her older brother, Luis. She recalls that he was very studious and performed extremely well in school. Lola tried to emulate his habits in hopes to outdo her brother. This falls in line with Bandura’s social learning theory that states that behaviors can be learned through observation and modeling (psychology.about.com/od/developmentsstudyguide). To this day, Lola admits that she was never able to surpass him. This bitter-sweet relationship has contributed to who Lola is today. She is a tiny woman with a big competitive spirit, who places a high value on education and leads a life of continuous learning, even during her retirement years.

Another relationship that had a tremendous impact on Lola’s life was her relationship with her co-workers. When Lola was 28, she worked as a typist at an administrative office. There, she worked with three males who were all in law school. One of them was her son’s Godfather. He matter-of-factly pointed out to Lola that she was the only one out of the group who didn’t have a college education. Subsequently, he encouraged her to go to law school. Lola discussed this possibility with her husband. At this time, they had four children and Domingo was doing well with his business, delivering pigs from the farm and selling them to the market owners. Domingo pointed out that practicing lawyers during that time were struggling to get clients and as a woman, she would have an even harder time generating clientele. Nonetheless, he agreed to send her to school, but insisted on medical school instead. Lola agreed to Domingo’s request even though she initially had her sights set on law school. This was a form of accommodation on Lola’s part (Cavanaugh/Blanchard-Fields, 2011). Lola credits this encounter with her co-worker as the reason why she decided to further her education and ultimately pursued medicine.

Another relationship that has shaped Lola’s life is with her long-time friend, Aster. Aster is also a physician. In 1968 when Lola was doing her medical residency in Cleveland, Aster was looking for a job in the U.S. Lola was able to find her a job at her workplace. At this point, Aster had not yet taken her licensure test to work in the U.S. Aster eventually attained her license and in 1972 she started her first job as a stateside physician. Eventually, she was able to return the favor. Upon completion of her third year of residency in 1969, Lola had to return home to the Philippines to wait for her work visa to get approved. When she received her visa three years later, Aster found Lola a job in Broadview Heights, Ohio. This job began the transition from Lola’s life in the Philippines to a new life for her and her family in the states. This move was significant because the quality of life for physicians and their families in the Philippines is drastically different than that in the U.S. Lola wanted endless possibilities for herself, and for her children. It was her dream to live in America and Aster helped open the door to this dream. This lead to a long lasting friendship filled with gratitude. Today, Aster and Lola are still good friends.

There are several key events that shaped Lola’s life. The chain of events that had the most impact was her journey to becoming a physician. This pursuit required a lot of time and effort which gave her less time for her family. She began her pre-med studies when she was 29 years old, and completed them three years later. At 32, she started medical school at “Far Eastern University” in Manila, where she was away from her family for five years. During this time, her children were being raised by her step-mother, who had kids of her own. Lola recalls a particular instance when she went home to visit her children. She was handing them all money, which they eagerly received. However, her youngest son who was only 2 at the time said, “You’re not my mother!” To which she responded, “Well, if I’m not your mother, then I suppose I shouldn’t give you any money.” The boy paused, then sheepishly conceded, “Ok, you are my mother,” as he walked towards her to accept his share. Lola can now recant this story light-heartedly, but it undoubtedly hurt at the time. Finally, in 1964 she graduated medical school and received her medical degree a year later. Lola worked as a physician in the Philippines for about a year. The majority of her fellow classmates were practicing in the U.S. and were earning a much higher salary and had a better quality of life. In 1966, she finally convinced Domingo to move to America. This was going to entail a three year plan and another separation from her family.

In 1967, Lola moved to Milwaukee to start her first year of general practice residency. She wanted to travel and see the sights, so she went to Cleveland for her second year and finished her third year in Chicago. During these three years, she worked many hours and had very little time for a social life or recreational activities. She missed her children dearly during this time. Lola stated that being so far away from them, for such a long period of time, was her biggest regret in life. On the same token, she knew it had to be done. Although it was difficult, she also recalls that she was kept so busy that she didn’t have time to be sad or pity herself.

In 1972, Lola started her first job in the states and was able to bring her whole family to Cleveland shortly afterwards. Her oldest daughter was now 24 and married, so she was not able to come along on Lola’s visa. Her youngest child was now 15. Even though the family was back together, it didn’t necessarily mean more quality time. Lola sometimes worked 24-36 hour shifts. This is what was expected, therefore this is what she did. It was important to Lola to be the best physician she could be. In this stage of her life, Lola was most likely pursuing her self-esteem needs, which according to Maslow’s hierarchy, includes prestige, mastery and achievement (www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html).

Also adversely affected by her career was her social life and recreational activities, which she plainly states was non-existent. When she did have time off from work, all she can remember is going shopping with the family. She doesn’t recall any regular family traditions. She says, “For many years, my life was 96% work!” The time that Lola invested in working obviously caused some work-family conflict, where she felt conflicted by incompatible demands of her job and her family (Cavanaugh/Blanchard-Fields, 2011).

Lola realizes that her career choice has required most of her attention for the majority of her life. She is aware that she missed a lot of valuable time with her husband and her children, but also knows that it has provided them with more life opportunities. Because of this, Lola is now focusing more on her family relationships.

Another major event that has impacted Lola’s life and shaped her views, is when she retired in 2006. She was 79 years old. This gave her more time to do the things she’s always wanted to do, such as “Go to sleep whenever I want, and wake up late!” She has time for leisurely activities such as gardening in her backyard and growing her own herbs. One of her favorite things to do is waking up and starting her day with “The Doctors” talk show. She also indulges in Desperate Housewives and Dancing With the Stars. Lola admits that she still doesn’t have a lot of social activities. Every now and then, she and Aster will attend medical seminars where they enjoy the food and each other’s company (her idea of going out to lunch with a friend). Lola attends these seminars so she can stay up-to-date with the latest medical information, since her license is still active. Every so often, they’ll go to financial seminars, just to shake things up. Lola also enjoys visiting her family for Christmases and birthdays now that she has more time. Most of all, she likes to attend church every Sunday, saying that her faith has neither increased nor decreased over the years, but has remained a constant part of her life. Now that she’s no longer working, she is able to focus more on her role as a mother, grandmother, and friend. This is defined by the continuity theory, where an elderly person substitutes new roles for lost ones (www.uic.edu/classes/socw/socw550/AGING/sld032.htm)

Lola’s main focus now is maintaining her health. Her love of learning has not waned one bit. She enjoys reading the newspaper and watching educational shows. She loves learning about the latest health trends, such as the use of herbs and having a functional diet. She also loves to do cross-word puzzles to keep her brain engaged. Her latest toy, which she is very excited about, is her new iPad. Now she can find all her interests, in one place. Lola is content with where she’s at in life. She feels that she has done everything she’s ever wanted to do, including travel, and has accomplished all her life goals. Now she can focus on enjoying life at a leisurely pace and spending quality time with her family.

Despite Lola’s difficult and often stressful life, she still maintains a positive outlook on aging. For most people, a life like this would run them down and cause them to become ill, or age quickly. By some miracle, Lola has managed to resist these negative effects of stress. Lola feels blessed with the good health that she’s maintained throughout her life. Her worst medical condition is rheumatoid arthritis, a destructive disease of the joints, which was diagnosed in 2002 (Cavanaugh/Blanchard-Fields, 2011). She doesn’t complain much about it because it is well controlled by medications. However, when she does not take her meds, she is not able to walk due to the pain in her ankles and knees. As far as other signs of aging, Lola has noticed some hearing impairment. She was tested by an audiologist and the ENT recommended that she wear a hearing aid. She admits that she only wears it when she goes to seminars, when she knows the speaker will be far away from her. Her hearing is not impaired enough to adversely affect her daily activities. As far as her eyesight goes, Lola does wear glasses which allow her to function normally. The only way that her decline in vision has affected her is that she has to sit closer to the TV. When it comes to memory, Lola has only noticed a slight change over the years. This change is minute and does not affect her daily life. She attributes this to following the advice she’s seen in “The Doctors” and “The Dr. Oz Show.” She takes omega 3 fatty acids for her brain health, and also drinks rosemary tea.

Lola has no fears when it comes to aging, although, if given the choice, she wouldn’t mind being in her early twenties again. She likes this age because according to her, “You can do anything when you’re young. You still have a lot of strength and beauty!” However, she appreciates the amount of wisdom that she’s gained over the years through life experiences. This type of wisdom is known as crystallized intelligence (Cavanaugh/Blanchard-Fields, 2011). She credits her many years of schooling for the majority of her wisdom, as well as her clinical interactions with her patients. She also doesn’t see the difference in how she is treated now as an elder, versus how she was treated in her younger years. “I think it’s because when people talk to me, they don’t view me as old.” Lola does in fact look much younger than her age. She also speaks articulately and has no difficulties with communicating. When you speak to her, it’s clear that she has a sound mind and has no difficulties with comprehension. She is also very independent and values being able to live by herself. She doesn’t fear aging itself, because she accepts that it is the natural process of life. The two things she does fear is not being able to see all the accomplishments of her grandchildren and not being able to take care of herself. She wants to live only as long as she can remain independent, and never wants to rely on anyone for day- to- day activities. She emphasizes that she does not want to be a burden to anyone. By doing this, Lola is attempting to preserve her ego integrity, which is simply holding on to one’s sense of wholeness (www.cliffnotes.com/study_guide/Theories-of-Aging).

Part III

I enjoyed this project because it allowed me to look deeply into another person’s life. To see the world from another person’s perspective is eye-opening and humbling. It reminds me that the world does not revolve around me, and that I’m not the only one who has to endure hardships. It’s taught me that many people have dreams, non-ideal circumstances, internal struggles, and difficult decisions to make. How well you balance and manipulate these variables determine the outcome of your life story. Lola has led an incredibly full life that is fit to be documented in an inspirational movie. She endured so much pain and hardship throughout her years, but never seemed to let those struggles come between her and her American dream.

I was also inspired by Lola’s positive outlook on aging. (I’m sure having realized all your potential doesn’t hurt, either). Lola breaks every stereo-type I’ve ever heard about elderly people. She has a cheerful disposition, is extremely competent, isn’t the least bit frail, can see, hear, and drive just fine, and is not afraid of technology. Unlike many, Lola embraces the present. She accepts the natural progression of life, and she focuses on the positive aspects of her older years, e.g. her wisdom, her health, and her independence. The fact that she doesn’t consider herself old and doesn’t believe that she is discriminated against by younger people is refreshing. Instead of feeling victimized due to her 4’11”, female, minority identity, she ignores those labels and empowers herself. I believe that this positive attitude has resulted from her life experiences of sacrifice, hard work, and achievement. In turn, this is her secret to happiness in the golden years.

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